The person behind the disability..

So, my blog is getting more views and I'm questioning what I am trying to achieve by blogging.  Yes I enjoy letting the crap out of my head..it definitely helps me...but am I actually achieving anything in raising awareness about HD or other similar neurological conditions?  I'm not sure. So I thought about the one thing that I feel is most important that people understand..the one thing that could make the life of people who live with disabilities easier.  I came to the conclusion, that seeing the person, and not the disability is the most important thing.

I would say in the main I see Mr W and not his disability.  But as hard as I try, sometimes I just see a disabled man sitting there..I focus on what he can no longer do and forget who he was.  But we had a moment. Rightly or wrongly, I decided to read Mr W some of my blog.  I read him the one that talks about the reality of HD.  A lump stuck in my throat as I read it, and I panicked that it was too harsh.  I apologised.  He looked me straight in the eye and said clear as day 'its true'.  I then read him about the role of the shitty ex-wife.  I think he cried, I'm not too sure, people with HD can make noises, but I think that was what was happening.  I don't know whether I should have read him the blogs but I know at that moment we connected, and I knew that he was still in there, still having these emotions, still ultimately knew that I am probably the only person in his life who really knows what he is thinking.  It was a wake up call for me, not to forget the person behind the disability.  

If you think about it, we all have disabilities, ok, not to the magnitude of someone with a progressive neurological illness but things that we find hard to do, or things that hold us back.  As a child I was acutely shy, I regard this as a disability.  It stops you making friends, joining in...doing things that involve interacting with others.  It makes you blush when a boy talks to you in your early teens (especially when you are spending your days in an all girls convent school) All I can say is, thank God for vodka.  So, we all have our issues, our difficulties but we don't want to be known as the 'shy child' or the 'child who is crap at sport' we want to be seen as who we are, and to be given a little bit of help in the right direction.

So, my message is this, everyone living with a disability is a person first, disability second. See the person, and you will suddenly be able to relax and talk with ease.  Talk about what you would normally talk about...because news flash...they are just like you and me.  God forbid it could be any of us one day.  See the person, and you will be able to ask them how you might be able to help or what you can do to make their life easier.  See the person, and you will once again find the funny in a miserable situation.  Because I know Mr W is still in there, it seems perfectly acceptable to me, when I'm struggling with his wheelchair, to tell him to stop being so lazy and just get up and walk.  We laugh...because why the fuck not? it beats crying.

And, if you come across a shy child, be nice...because one day they will turn into a mouthy bitch like me.