Money.

So, living with HD can kind of mess up your finances.  I wasn't really used to having money in the first place.  I grew up in a working class family.  A rough part of London.  Never went without..but certainly not rich.  My parents were intelligent people though.  Made sure I knew right from wrong and worked their butts off to give me an education.  My Dad always told me to get me an education, go to Uni.  It would open doors..give me choices in life (it was also mean I would get to stay up all night, sleep all day, try dubious substances and lose my virginity...he didn't mention that but thanks anyway Dad).  So, somewhere along the way I ended up becoming an inverted snob, despising wealthy people, joining the Socialist Workers party ...left of left. My Dad was proud.... my mother hung her head in shame.

Then I met Mr W.  He came from money you see.  Had a good job..own business.  Many women would have run to that but I hated it.  His friends mocked my left wing values.. I despised their ability to behave like hideous rich bastards who clearly didn't give a stuff about anything about having a good time. But somewhere along the line I guess I joined in. I was also earning a good salary.  The holidays were good.  The shopping.  The BMW on the drive (well you would wouldn't you?).  My father started mutterings of me being a Gucci Socialist.

So, then it all changed.  Mr W's business went down the pan.  Then he got sick.  So now we live on benefits and a 'blink and you'd miss it' pension.  So now I watch every penny. have to constantly make choices about where its spent.  Worry I won't be able to send my kids to Uni.  Stress when I have to say no to something they want.  For the first time in my life I take handouts from my family..having always been proud to stand on my own two feet (but Mum if your reading this..im not that proud..and there are a pair of boots in Next calling to me...)  Then there is the stress of claiming the money...stupid forms...having to learn which words to use, which boxes to tick. 

I don't miss the money though.  Only the freedom and choices it brings. So, where do we go from here?  I guess its all down hill... but somehow I know I will be ok.

Anyway, according to the Daily Mail we are living the life of riley right?  and I guess if it gets really bad I can always knock out a few more kids.